| He's like an Apple. At least, that's how my | | | | slides easily over his huge head. He is |
| Right Eye sees him. | | | | trained to bark (very loudly!) to draw public |
| | | | attention in the event of an emergency. There |
| My Left Eye is rather different, due to a | | | | is nothing a robber hates as much as noise, |
| Judo accident thirty years ago. I was | | | | commotion and - witnesses. I train him |
| fighting in the British Army team against the | | | | regularly to bark, with a copious supply of |
| German Police. To score a Full Point one has | | | | (small) dog biscuits. On the command "Bark" |
| to deposit your partner flat on his back. | | | | he really lets rip. Immediately and loudly. |
| This often entails falling on top of him to | | | | He's absolutely on the ball here. |
| make sure he can't twist out to safety. A few | | | | |
| days prior to the match I'd injured my knee, | | | | We read so much about pet owners being |
| and I was hesitant to risk it in an important | | | | attacked, raped and murdered when walking |
| competition. | | | | their dog in the park or wherever.. Young |
| | | | girls, pram-pushing mothers, like me you read |
| So when I threw my opponent I held back and | | | | the papers. |
| didn't drop on him as I would normally have | | | | |
| done. The result: he twisted onto his side, | | | | What I require from my Stafford is that if I |
| for a half point. | | | | were threatened, on slipping his collar and |
| | | | lead, that he runs around the stranger |
| Getting up, he disappeared (underneath me | | | | barking loudly (and apparently fiercely) so |
| somewhere!) Up and over I went, but Black | | | | as to |
| Belts have a highly developed sense of | | | | |
| balance, and I twisted in mid air to evade | | | | 1. Draw attention (noise) |
| the point. Unfortunately. Landing directly on | | | | |
| my head, I suffered severe concussion, losing | | | | 2. Distract the Mugger (rapid movement) |
| my memory and blinding my left eye. | | | | |
| | | | 3. Actually frighten him (a barking dog just |
| So thirty years later, I only see one single | | | | might dash in and bite) |
| Apple when I look at Tyson! | | | | |
| | | | 4. Giving me time to forget about my sixty |
| Now all I care about is Doreen my wife, my | | | | years of training as a Black Belt and run |
| music, my books (right eye only!), my | | | | away as fast as I can! |
| computer - and Tyson! (Is that in reverse | | | | |
| order? I'll dodge that!) | | | | [I mean that! A hand-knife raises a mugger |
| | | | better even than a high grade Black Belt |
| My big hobby is in fact the Martial Arts. I | | | | German policeman!] |
| started at age fourteen, and haven't stopped | | | | |
| even sixty years later. When I walk Tyson | | | | Your first duty - free your dog. |
| (twice a day) I place his safety way above | | | | |
| mine - don't we all! | | | | Next - depart the scene rapidly. Your dog |
| | | | will follow safely. No need to worry about |
| Such that if I were about to be attacked or | | | | him. It might be useful to shout out loud |
| mugged, my first duty is to slip his collar | | | | "BITE! BITE! BITE!" even though you don't |
| off. To set him completely free so that he | | | | mean it. |
| couldn't be grabbed, held or even stabbed. | | | | |
| His collar is set very loose so that it | | | | The mugger won't know that! |