| Well, another day, another "talk show"...get the ads | | | | rape in their lifetime. In addition, 90% of these |
| telling me who is on each day - just never seem to | | | | attacks will not come from the "knife wielding" |
| have the time to watch them all.... "if only" - (well, I | | | | stranger behind a bush - they will come from |
| guess that would mean life was boring so...) Anyway, | | | | someone we know! So will need to be ready to |
| I had really wanted to see Mr Gavin de Becker on | | | | defend yourself even if you are "friendly" with your |
| Oprah. I have enjoyed his book - The Gift of Fear | | | | attacker which is hard to do in our "polite" society. |
| and wanted to see what he had to say "in person". | | | | So what about that video? Myth one: you will not |
| Was a busy afternoon with running to do but saw a | | | | learn what you need to know about self defense |
| few bits and pieces in passing. I know he has a lot to | | | | from watching a video. Even as an instructor, I return |
| say in his book but the only real message I heard | | | | to classes to learn through hands on training. Nothing |
| today was "trust your instincts". Now, I agree - yes - | | | | can replace actual events, punching, practicing moves. |
| that is VERY, VERY important!! But I was really | | | | You do not make something instinctual until you |
| hoping to hear so much more...it has been 10 years | | | | practice it hands on over and over. When you get |
| since the book came out and times are a changin'... | | | | into a situation where you need to defend yourself, |
| In addition to the ALL IMPORTANT | | | | you need to remember - this isn't about |
| INSTINCTS...most of what we do on a daily basis | | | | choreographed karate moves (and I'm not saying |
| that puts us at risk / being in danger has to do with | | | | anything is wrong with that) but this is about street |
| the choices we make. As I teach every morning, I | | | | fighting. At this point in time, "all bets are off". You |
| listen to story after story. The first set of stories is | | | | will be fighting for your life! You will have |
| from employees of corporations sharing their tales of | | | | approximately 5 seconds or so to make a move and |
| victimization - they were outside smoking, someone | | | | do it hard enough to surprise and hopefully hurt your |
| asked for a light and next thing they knew they | | | | attacker so you can retreat to a "safe environment" |
| were being robbed; someone followed them home | | | | and obtain the help you need. These things need to |
| from work at night after stalking them for weeks | | | | come second nature to you - you need to have a |
| and they drove into their own driveway to call police; | | | | plan for safety BEFORE you ever need it. We plan |
| they had a security system and thought they were | | | | and practice for Fires - why not our personal safety |
| safe so they failed to keep their doors and windows | | | | while out and about? You never hope to have a fire |
| locked - hitting the "panic" button didn't help get the | | | | in your home but you are ready if it should ever |
| police fast enough they were being attacked; it was | | | | occur - shouldn't you be the same with self defense? |
| raining and they left the car running as they ran inside | | | | Now those emails that continually circulate? Yes, |
| to pay for gas quickly - car gone; same with wallets, | | | | some of the information is helpful (at least it makes |
| iPods, left on the front seat of their cars; women | | | | you "think" about your safety and what you might |
| leaving their purses unattended in a grocery cart; kids | | | | do in a situation) but some can actually do more |
| wearing clothing with their school or sports name on | | | | harm than good. The arm out a tail light strategy. |
| the front then giving our too much personal | | | | Have you ever tried to get in the trunk of your car |
| information to strangers who seem to be "nice"; they | | | | or looked at the way the tail light is set up? Sorry, |
| let a gas man into the house with an unscheduled | | | | can't do it. Best thing? DON'T let anyone remove you |
| appointment - I can go on and on - so many of | | | | to a secondary location! You have a better chance of |
| these things can be AVOIDED if we just took one | | | | survival (even if a weapon is involved) if you fight. |
| extra minute to think about our actions. | | | | Statistically, your chance of survival at a secondary |
| My weekly assignment to my high school students is | | | | location is less than 1%. Some say to scratch your |
| to see how many of you they can "rob". They don't | | | | attacker (good thing if you can get your fingers in |
| actually steal things (yet it is amazing how many | | | | their eyes) or to bite them (do you know what |
| items they "tally" for me by Monday morning of thing | | | | diseases your attacker may have? Just a thought.), |
| they could have easily taken if they had a "criminal | | | | as a very last resort these things may be helpful but |
| mind") but they do watch your bad habits in the | | | | otherwise they are just going to "tick off" your |
| hope of not developing them. It is a lot of fun to | | | | attacker. They want to upset you, they want you to |
| hear how they have begun to "catch" themselves | | | | panic and be afraid - you have just shown them it is |
| from doing things the more we practice and it has | | | | working. (Now a good solid punch placed to an |
| deterred a few of their parents as well. One girl had | | | | appropriate target on the other hand will make your |
| told her mother over and over again how someone | | | | point known!) There are just too many things about |
| could just walk up and steal her wallet from her sling, | | | | these emails that it would take several pages to |
| backpack purse and was ignored. So one weekend | | | | rebut. |
| after being sent home with her "assignment" she | | | | Finally, although I'm sure the Driver's Ed teacher was |
| was grocery shopping with mom. They were running | | | | trying to be helpful by telling several of my students |
| and picking up items the purse on mom's back. My | | | | to fake a seizure but .... first of all, if the attacker |
| student "unzipped" the purse, removed her mother's | | | | wants your car - give it to him! Second, the worst |
| wallet and waited until they got to the check out | | | | place you can be in any situation is on the ground. |
| lane. Well, the wallet was "gone" and the mom and | | | | Why put yourself there are purpose? Do you not |
| had not felt a thing. The daughter returned it with a | | | | think if this attacker really wants you that they will |
| "safety lecture" and mom has a new purse. | | | | just pick you up and throw you into the vehicle? |
| The second set of stories is from the students who | | | | When someone tells you about a self defense |
| like most of us just want to believe "it won't happen | | | | "move" that they think is good or helpful - ask your |
| to me" - I live in an affluent part of town. Well, guess | | | | self: Is it a feasible thing to do? Then ask what |
| what? First, these girls are already in a high risk group | | | | would happen next? If I did this in a fight (and think |
| because of their age (12-25) and then their naivety | | | | cage fighting / street brawls), what would my |
| just leaves them open for victimization. They tell me | | | | opponent do to me next? Then, no matter what, |
| things like: "oh, I know everything - I watched a | | | | you need to always assume your attacker is |
| video on self defense"; "I learned so many things | | | | stronger than you are. |
| from an email that I got from a friend about safety - | | | | Then you need to learn and practice self defense |
| if I'm approached or am abducted I would.... (punch | | | | techniques that will pit your strengths against your |
| out the tail light of the trunk I'm in and wave my arm | | | | attacker's weaknesses....and you should have a plan |
| out for help, puke on the guy, etc); "My driver's ed | | | | so you NEVER panic! |
| teacher told me all I have to do if someone tried to | | | | So, as much as I enjoyed Mr de Becker's |
| take me with my car is fall to the ground and act like | | | | presentation on Oprah today, I guess I was hoping |
| I'm having an epileptic seizure and they will leave me | | | | for more. I would definitely say TRUST YOUR |
| alone". | | | | INSTINCTS and then I would add: |
| I should be thankful for these things because it | | | | 1. Be Aware of your environment (what's going on |
| keeps my classes fun, entertaining and the | | | | around you, where the exits are if needed and never |
| discussions never end - and I am never out of things | | | | lessen any of your senses - loud music through ear |
| to teach! The sad part of all of this is that there are | | | | buds of iPod, etc) |
| not enough teachers like myself (Rape/ Aggression/ | | | | 2. Never Panic - have a plan, and a back up plan |
| Defense - RAD) out there working to educate you | | | | 3. If in trouble, use your voice and make a lot of |
| and your kids to keep them safe. And even if their | | | | noise, your attacker doesn't want to have attention |
| were enough educators, many just do not take the | | | | drawn to the situation 3. Carry some form of self |
| classes because they don't see the need or "put it | | | | defense product such as a stream pepper spray (will |
| off until later" - which may be too late. (Why not | | | | talk about that another day but trust me on the |
| start today? Why not now when our children are | | | | STREAM) |
| teens and know everything? I commend the schools | | | | 4. Finally, use good judgment - (i.e., don't walk alone |
| who have chosen to add these programs to their | | | | at night, see a van that makes you |
| high school gym curriculum - it is a semester long and | | | | uncomfortable...don't walk by it to get your car in the |
| could be a life saving portion of their life long | | | | mall parking lot, go in and get a security escort - |
| education! It at least gives them something to think | | | | better to be Safe than Sorry). |
| about) Please remember too, this isn't about | | | | We don't need to be PARANOID, and we don't want |
| "stranger danger". Statistics say that 1 in 4 women | | | | to be OBLIVIOUS, we need to be SMART. |
| and 1 in 7 boys will be affected by molestation / | | | | |