| Learning how to argue fairly can be very beneficial to | | | | not worth it in the end. |
| the longevity of your relationship. Because | | | | Take responsibility for your actions and feelings - Use |
| arguements are often fueled by intense emotions it | | | | phrases like "this is how I feel", "I did this because...", |
| is wise to adhere to specific guidelines when arguing | | | | "it makes me angry because...". Speaking in this |
| so you can avoid anything that will cause irreparable | | | | manner demonstrates that you are responsible for |
| damage in the relationship. Here are some guidelines | | | | your feelings and actions. You are not placing the |
| on how to argue fairly. | | | | blame on your partner. |
| Physical Aggression - it is human nature to become | | | | Allow honesty - don't be afraid of being honest with |
| more aggressive when we are involved in an | | | | the person you are arguing with. You should not try |
| arguement. This can be through body language or | | | | to hide your true feelings or what problem is really |
| actual physical contact with another. Physical | | | | bothering you. If you are not honest with your |
| aggression should never be part of a productive | | | | feelings you will not be able to resolve the true |
| arguement. It accomplishes nothing except | | | | issues. |
| establishing fear and mistrust between two people. | | | | Don't beat around the bush - if you want a quick |
| Walk away when you have to to keep this under | | | | resolution to the problem at hand then be direct. |
| control. It is always better to take a break than to | | | | Get to the point, the current point. Don't dredge up |
| attack someone physically. | | | | past problems or events. Stay focused. This will |
| Verbal Aggression - Like physical aggression verbal | | | | assure that both of you stay on target and reach a |
| attacks are not useful in an argument. Verbal | | | | mutual agreement. |
| attacks only make the situation deteriorate and will | | | | Study these 10 points and try to stick to them. No |
| take the focus off of the main point of the | | | | one will ever argue in a perfect manner but if you try |
| argument. The purpose of the argument is to reach | | | | to keep these ground rules on how to argue fairly in |
| a resolution about the problem at hand. If you start | | | | mind your arguing will be much more productive and |
| with personal insults you are creating a whole new | | | | perhaps beneficial for your relationship. |
| stash of things you have to apologize for. It's just | | | | |