| Finding your way on the road without a destination | | | | thought that that stiffness was normal, until I started |
| Getting on the road is your practice. Your goal is not | | | | to relax. I thought that my goal in Tai Chi was to |
| your practice. I am very goal orientated and for that | | | | become a fighter. After all Tai Chi Chuan means |
| reason I had difficulty staying on the road. When I | | | | grand ultimate fist. So again I had a goal, fighting. |
| first started out practicing karate my goals were | | | | Slowly my purpose started to shift from fighting to |
| very up front. All my life I had felt insignificant | | | | the development of relaxation. True relaxation works |
| physically and I supposed that learning karate would | | | | much like a jigsaw puzzle. At first the puzzle pieces |
| wash away my feelings of inadequacy. I threw | | | | are too far away from each other to fit. After a long |
| myself into my practice. Over the years I developed | | | | time the pieces start to come together. You start to |
| my techniques and skills and eventually started to | | | | move as one unified being. Your arms do not move |
| teach. However my feelings of inadequacy stayed | | | | by themselves, they move with your body. The |
| with me. Along with my karate I started to work out | | | | meridians thru which Chi flows only open up thru |
| with weights. Again my reasoning was that if I got | | | | relaxation and you start to understand the phrase. |
| bigger muscles I would get where I wanted to go. | | | | The will moves the chi and the chi moves the body. |
| My insecurities stayed with me. Here I was outwardly | | | | The form now takes on a different quality. You feel |
| formidable inwardly insignificant. I was not able to | | | | connected and appear to float thru the form. My |
| reach my goals. Pretty frustrating to say the least. | | | | teacher always said that the form does you; you do |
| At this time I decided to change my method of self | | | | not do the form. As a result my form developed thru |
| development and started looking into Tai Chi. I | | | | the practice of relaxation. I realized that my goal of |
| located a school in New York where Cheng Man | | | | fighting could only be realized thru the practice of |
| Ching was teaching and promptly signed up. On my | | | | relaxation and the more I relaxed, the less fighting |
| first day of instruction as I was walking into the | | | | seemed important. |
| school Chen Man Ching was on his way out of the | | | | Amazingly enough I now had new goals. My new goal |
| school. That was the first and last time I was to see | | | | was to do the practice. And then I started to |
| him.(Chen Man Ching was in many ways the founder | | | | change. Old feelings of insecurity slowly melted away. |
| of the Yang style of Tai Chi in the United States) I | | | | My mind calmed, my body relaxed. My breath |
| learned the Yang style form from his two sons and | | | | became the link between my body and mind. A |
| continued my practice with Lou Kleinsmith, a senior | | | | sense of peace and harmony entered my life. This |
| teacher of Chen Man Ching. It was here that I | | | | manifested one day as I was driving to work. My |
| started to change. | | | | nervous stomach suddenly stopped bothering me. I |
| The teaching was steeped in the philosophy of | | | | had this malady for many years, and all of a sudden |
| relaxation. That is to say total and complete | | | | it was gone. |
| relaxation of the entire body and mind. At first my | | | | Better health thru Tai Chi can manifest in you thru |
| development was very slow. After all I was totally | | | | the practice of relaxation. A feeling of |
| uptight. My whole physical structure was tensed and | | | | connectiveness develops along with spirituality. Heart |
| contracted and a lot of my insecurities were tied up | | | | and soul become connected, the heart center opens |
| in my muscles. My neck was always stiff and I | | | | and feelings of love and compassion manifest. |