| It's been said, time and again, that for a | | | | the lessons you brought him here to learn, |
| child to learn what is most important, he | | | | it's less important whether he likes it or |
| must be shown the lessons through example, | | | | not. And, as for him not knowing what he |
| not through words. And, if we are to nurture | | | | wants, that's what we as parents and teachers |
| certain traits within our children, we must | | | | are here for, isn't it. To guide, provide |
| first develop those traits in ourselves.I've | | | | opportunities and to give our children what |
| been teaching martial arts to children for a | | | | they need, even if it's not what they |
| decade and a half and I've discovered | | | | want."The actress Bette Davis was quoted as |
| something amazing about children - they want | | | | saying, "If you have never been hated by your |
| to learn what is expected of them. For all | | | | child you have never been a parent." I |
| of the 'button-pushing,' resistance to your | | | | believe this because I believe that my job is |
| wishes and what-not, children want to know | | | | not to be my child's friend, but to be his |
| the rules and have a deep-down, almost | | | | guide, mentor, and teacher for handling the |
| inherent, need to "do it | | | | challenges of life. If I don't, then who |
| right."Unfortunately, I've also discovered | | | | will? And besides, there's plenty of time to |
| that many of the parents who bring their | | | | be his or her friend after they have grown to |
| children to our programs live by two | | | | adulthood, had the same experiences in the |
| deep-seated desires. And even though they | | | | world, and can relate on an adult level. |
| express their wishes for their child to | | | | There is a huge difference between being |
| develop more confidence, discipline, and | | | | 'friendly' and being 'friends.'To many, I'm |
| respect - not to mention the ability to | | | | sure that all of this seems harsh and many, |
| protect themselves from the dangers that they | | | | I'm certain, have already stopped reading |
| know exist in the world, they will almost | | | | altogether. My point is simple. We, as |
| always default to these desires, even though | | | | parents and teachers are teaching your |
| it means that their child may never develop | | | | children regardless of whether we open our |
| these important traits and abilities.What are | | | | mouths and say the words in the lesson or |
| these desires?1) That their child is never | | | | not.If we're to teach our children to do |
| angry at them, and,2) that they never want to | | | | what's important, not just what feels |
| have to say "no."Is this true about all | | | | good......if we are to teach them the value |
| parents? No, of course not. But it is true | | | | of committing to a worthwhile endeavor |
| about many.Even without these words being | | | | because it's worthwhile, not just because |
| spoken, the message is plain and clear when | | | | it's easy or convenient......if we're to |
| it comes in the following forms:"She doesn't | | | | teach them to not be quitters in the game of |
| want to come to class and I don't want to | | | | life......we must instill the lessons whether |
| force her.""Really," I say. "And why | | | | they like us for it or not.How else can we |
| not?"'Excuse me?", comes the reply. "I don't | | | | possibly teach, and have our children |
| understand.""Well," I add, "don't you make | | | | practice, things like commitment if we never |
| her do other things that she doesn't want to | | | | provide the opportunities for them to commit |
| do?" "I'm sure you make her brush her teeth | | | | or allow them to quit because something's not |
| daily, go to school even when she says she | | | | fun? When was the last time our creditors |
| doesn't want to, and probably a dozen or so | | | | allowed us to stop paying our bills because |
| more things every day, don't you?""Yes, but | | | | doing so wasn't fun?Edward, the English |
| that's different," is often the | | | | monarch once commented in a condescending way |
| reply."Different?" I ask, "how so?" "Don't | | | | that we have the troubles we do because |
| you think this is important?" "Isn't it | | | | American parents obey their children instead |
| still as important today, as the day you | | | | of the other way around. After a decade and |
| brought her in and said she needed to be | | | | a half of watching and helping parents to |
| confident and learn to protect | | | | help their children, I don't know if he's |
| herself?"Here's another one that my staff and | | | | right but I do know that, the parents who are |
| I hear regularly."I'm not going to commit my | | | | most committed to their child's development, |
| son to a year (or three year) program. | | | | regardless of the daily whims of the child - |
| That's too long for someone his age. He | | | | this entity who is changing so rapidly that |
| doesn't know what he wants"Again, my response | | | | they don't want the same things from |
| is that the parent is missing something in | | | | moment-to-moment, let alone from year-to-year |
| the logic, if it's logic that's driving at | | | | - usually have much more successful adults to |
| all."Is your child in school?", I ask."Of | | | | be proud of when their children grow up. It |
| course," comes the reply."So you do think | | | | is those who commit to teaching commitment, |
| that an education is important and will take | | | | and a hundred other lessons, who are blessed |
| a considerable amount of time to prepare your | | | | with a child grown to adulthood who can |
| son for the real world?""Yes. I don't see | | | | commit to themselves and others and who can |
| what that has to do with karate classes.""It | | | | be counted on to 'be there' when the going |
| has everything to do with karate classes, | | | | gets tough.Can you imagine? What a world we |
| because this is an education too. One that | | | | would live in if all those we met were such a |
| your son won't get in school or out of a text | | | | person as this.Jeffrey M. Miller is the |
| book. And, what he learns here in the way of | | | | founder and master instructor of Warrior |
| confidence, discipline, pride, respect, and | | | | Concepts International. A senior teacher in |
| the ability to stand up for what is right, | | | | the Japanese warrior art of Ninjutsu, he |
| will affect every other part of his life, for | | | | specializes in teaching the ancient ways of |
| the rest of his life."Again, I hear, "But | | | | self-protection and personal development |
| this is different.""How?," I ask. "He will | | | | lessons in a way that is easily understood |
| be going to school for the next eleven to | | | | and put to use by modern Western students and |
| thirteen years, not counting college. And, | | | | corporate clients. Through their martial arts |
| I'm sure that you'll make him go, even on | | | | training, his students and clients learn |
| those days when he doesn't want to. You will | | | | proven, time-tested lessons designed to help |
| have all the right reasons to explain to him | | | | them create the life they've always dreamed |
| why this is important, right? No sir, this | | | | of living, and the skills necessary for |
| is no different. It is exactly the same. | | | | protecting that life from anything that might |
| And, if its important for your child to learn | | | | threaten it. |