| It's been said, time and again, that for a child to learn | | | | brought him here to learn, it's less important whether |
| what is most important, he must be shown the | | | | he likes it or not. And, as for him not knowing what |
| lessons through example, not through words. And, if | | | | he wants, that's what we as parents and teachers |
| we are to nurture certain traits within our children, | | | | are here for, isn't it. To guide, provide opportunities |
| we must first develop those traits in ourselves.I've | | | | and to give our children what they need, even if it's |
| been teaching martial arts to children for a decade | | | | not what they want."The actress Bette Davis was |
| and a half and I've discovered something amazing | | | | quoted as saying, "If you have never been hated by |
| about children - they want to learn what is expected | | | | your child you have never been a parent." I believe |
| of them. For all of the 'button-pushing,' resistance to | | | | this because I believe that my job is not to be my |
| your wishes and what-not, children want to know | | | | child's friend, but to be his guide, mentor, and teacher |
| the rules and have a deep-down, almost inherent, | | | | for handling the challenges of life. If I don't, then who |
| need to "do it right."Unfortunately, I've also | | | | will? And besides, there's plenty of time to be his or |
| discovered that many of the parents who bring their | | | | her friend after they have grown to adulthood, had |
| children to our programs live by two deep-seated | | | | the same experiences in the world, and can relate on |
| desires. And even though they express their wishes | | | | an adult level. There is a huge difference between |
| for their child to develop more confidence, discipline, | | | | being 'friendly' and being 'friends.'To many, I'm sure |
| and respect - not to mention the ability to protect | | | | that all of this seems harsh and many, I'm certain, |
| themselves from the dangers that they know exist | | | | have already stopped reading altogether. My point is |
| in the world, they will almost always default to these | | | | simple. We, as parents and teachers are teaching |
| desires, even though it means that their child may | | | | your children regardless of whether we open our |
| never develop these important traits and | | | | mouths and say the words in the lesson or not.If |
| abilities.What are these desires?1) That their child is | | | | we're to teach our children to do what's important, |
| never angry at them, and,2) that they never want | | | | not just what feels good......if we are to teach them |
| to have to say "no."Is this true about all parents? No, | | | | the value of committing to a worthwhile endeavor |
| of course not. But it is true about many.Even without | | | | because it's worthwhile, not just because it's easy or |
| these words being spoken, the message is plain and | | | | convenient......if we're to teach them to not be |
| clear when it comes in the following forms:"She | | | | quitters in the game of life......we must instill the |
| doesn't want to come to class and I don't want to | | | | lessons whether they like us for it or not.How else |
| force her.""Really," I say. "And why not?"'Excuse | | | | can we possibly teach, and have our children practice, |
| me?", comes the reply. "I don't understand.""Well," I | | | | things like commitment if we never provide the |
| add, "don't you make her do other things that she | | | | opportunities for them to commit or allow them to |
| doesn't want to do?" "I'm sure you make her brush | | | | quit because something's not fun? When was the last |
| her teeth daily, go to school even when she says | | | | time our creditors allowed us to stop paying our bills |
| she doesn't want to, and probably a dozen or so | | | | because doing so wasn't fun?Edward, the English |
| more things every day, don't you?""Yes, but that's | | | | monarch once commented in a condescending way |
| different," is often the reply."Different?" I ask, "how | | | | that we have the troubles we do because American |
| so?" "Don't you think this is important?" "Isn't it still as | | | | parents obey their children instead of the other way |
| important today, as the day you brought her in and | | | | around. After a decade and a half of watching and |
| said she needed to be confident and learn to protect | | | | helping parents to help their children, I don't know if |
| herself?"Here's another one that my staff and I hear | | | | he's right but I do know that, the parents who are |
| regularly."I'm not going to commit my son to a year | | | | most committed to their child's development, |
| (or three year) program. That's too long for | | | | regardless of the daily whims of the child - this entity |
| someone his age. He doesn't know what he | | | | who is changing so rapidly that they don't want the |
| wants"Again, my response is that the parent is | | | | same things from moment-to-moment, let alone from |
| missing something in the logic, if it's logic that's driving | | | | year-to-year - usually have much more successful |
| at all."Is your child in school?", I ask."Of course," | | | | adults to be proud of when their children grow up. It |
| comes the reply."So you do think that an education is | | | | is those who commit to teaching commitment, and a |
| important and will take a considerable amount of time | | | | hundred other lessons, who are blessed with a child |
| to prepare your son for the real world?""Yes. I don't | | | | grown to adulthood who can commit to themselves |
| see what that has to do with karate classes.""It has | | | | and others and who can be counted on to 'be there' |
| everything to do with karate classes, because this is | | | | when the going gets tough.Can you imagine? What a |
| an education too. One that your son won't get in | | | | world we would live in if all those we met were such |
| school or out of a text book. And, what he learns | | | | a person as this.Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and |
| here in the way of confidence, discipline, pride, | | | | master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. |
| respect, and the ability to stand up for what is right, | | | | A senior teacher in the Japanese warrior art of |
| will affect every other part of his life, for the rest of | | | | Ninjutsu, he specializes in teaching the ancient ways |
| his life."Again, I hear, "But this is different.""How?," I | | | | of self-protection and personal development lessons |
| ask. "He will be going to school for the next eleven | | | | in a way that is easily understood and put to use by |
| to thirteen years, not counting college. And, I'm sure | | | | modern Western students and corporate clients. |
| that you'll make him go, even on those days when | | | | Through their martial arts training, his students and |
| he doesn't want to. You will have all the right reasons | | | | clients learn proven, time-tested lessons designed to |
| to explain to him why this is important, right? No sir, | | | | help them create the life they've always dreamed of |
| this is no different. It is exactly the same. And, if its | | | | living, and the skills necessary for protecting that life |
| important for your child to learn the lessons you | | | | from anything that might threaten it. |