Children Learn What They Live: A Memorial

Dorothy Law Nolte may not be a household name,"Anonymous" as the author source.
but for parents across the nation her poem --It wasn't until nearly 20 years later in 1972 that Mrs.
"Children Learn What They Live" - has long been aNolte finally copyrighted her work. It was this year
child-rearing mantra. You may even remember itthat a baby nutrition company distributed millions of
pasted up on your own refrigerator or hanging incopies of the poem to new parents, and Mrs. Nolte
your kitchen while you were growing up. Childrendiscovered here poem's great appeal.
Learn What They Live"I simply wrote it and put it out there, where it has
apparently moved through the world on its own
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.momentum," Mrs. Nolte is reported as saying.
If children live with fear, they learn to beA Poem That Touched Generations
apprehensive.Today, "Children Learn What They Live" has been
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry forreprinted in 30 languages. It is a favorite of Crown
themselves.Prince Naruhito of Japan, who plans to raise his own
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.family with its advice.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.In 1998, Mrs. Nolte wrote a book based on the poem
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.titled "Children Learn What They Live." This is the
If children live with encouragement, they learnfirst time she earned anything for the much-revered
confidence.piece. Each chapter of the book -- which has more
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.than 3 million copies in print worldwide and has been
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.reprinted in 18 languages -- is devoted to a line of the
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.poem.
If children live with approval, they learn to like"The book gave her ownership of her own poem
themselves.and philosophy, and it gave her a platform," said
If children live with recognition, they learn it is goodco-author Rachel Harris.
to have a goal.Mrs. Nolte also wrote a similar book for teens, titled
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity."Teenagers Learn What They Live," in 2002.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.Throughout her life Mrs. Nolte was involved with
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.family work and children. She was trained as a family
If children live with kindness and consideration, theycounselor, held parenting classes, founded a preschool
learn respect.and was a childbirth-education instructor. She had two
If children live with security, they learn to have faithdaughters, two sons, eight grandchildren, six
in themselves and in those about them.great-grandchildren and one great-great-grandchild of
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world isher own.
a nice place in which to live.The poem that has touched so many lives around
Mrs. Nolte passed away from cancer on November 6,the world was also cherished in Mrs. Nolte's own
2005, at the age of 81. She wrote the poem onhome.
deadline for The Torrance Herald newspaper in 1954,"She did a wonderful job as a mother," her daughter
to fill her weekly family advice column. Little did shesaid. "She truly tried to live up to what the poem
know, the poem was photocopied and circulatedsays.
among families for years--often attributed to